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The Social Dynamics of Attraction: A Scientific Guide to Female Interaction & Social Calibration
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The social game is rarely about practicing pick-up lines and memorizing social scripts. The majority of them end as soon as the interaction doesn’t begin.
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The social game is rarely about practicing pick-up lines and memorizing social scripts. The majority of them end as soon as the interaction doesn’t begin.
CALIBRATION l
FIRST IMPRESSION:
First impressions are created before communication is established. Based on visual and non-visual factors, a person subconsciously creates an impression of the other based on their Appearance and Body language.
The face, hair, skin, body shape, clothes, personal hygiene, movement, expressions, and presentation are all taken into account and categorized to determine a first impression. This is where the “halo effect” comes into play, which is a cognitive bias that influences people to think, feel, and behave a certain way toward others based on initial information.
Aesthetic appeal can influence an individual’s attraction to another person, but this is a variable that should not be overestimated.
The common autistic thought of “looks don’t matter anyway” is a manifestation of their fatalism. Your appearance can get you into an interaction, but your behavior determines everything else.
CALIBRATION ll
SOCIAL FRAME:
Do not approach a beautiful woman from a position of inferiority, even if she is objectively attractive. She is “beautiful,” but that does not mean you should put yourself lower on the social ladder simply because the other has better genes.
A better frame is something along the lines of “I think she is beautiful, but I am still calculating my interest in her.” This approach is much healthier because it allows you to shift the dynamic from desperate “approval-seeking” to a healthier “compatibility-seeking.”
Instead of constantly trying to win her approval, you are now focusing on determining whether the interaction is worth your time and effort. You can be genuinely interested in her without falling victim to “needy energy.” You can flirt without becoming desperate and showcase your interest without needing her to validate your existence.
Confidence is not a state of mind that makes you ignore basic common sense. It is a skill that allows you to express interest without becoming overly desperate.
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OPENING:
OPENING:
There is no “perfect opener.” Openers are situational based on context and location, but the purpose of an opening is always the same - create a reason to start a conversation. If you are in a class, talk about the class. If you are in an event, talk about the event. If you are in a situation where a particular topic is relevant, bring it up. And if you are not - talk about yourself in a way that allows you to establish yourself without sounding too self-centered. The point of the opener is to create an opportunity to communicate. Do not waste too much time thinking about a perfect opener that will last three seconds.
SELF-DISCLOSURE:
One of the most studied topics in interpersonal relationships is self-disclosure. In short, self-disclosure is the act of sharing personal information with another individual. The extent varies from person to person, including topics such as personal interests, thoughts and beliefs, experiences, and goals.
The key here is reciprocity. If the girl shares something about herself, you also need to disclose something personally interesting. The goal is not to share everything at once - it is about creating an exchange where both individuals are sharing something that could be used to continue the conversation.
If the girl says: “I play volleyball,” do not ask five questions in a row. You could instead say: “I have played a little too, but I am actually ass at it. Do you compete?”
You now shared something personally interesting, and gave her something to respond to, instead of putting pressure on her to ask you questions. Self-disclosure is an essential component of social interaction. Research has shown that self-disclosure and responsiveness contribute to positive feelings toward the other person, including liking, relationship closeness, similarity, and enjoyment during the conversation.
RESPONSIVENESS:
A lot of socially awkward men are not actually responsive to women. Instead, they subconsciously focus on what they will say and what they will ask, trying to appear interesting and attractive. In the process, they forget to listen to what the other person is saying, assuming that the other is always asking direct questions.
Listen to the actual words that are coming out of her mouth. If she says: “I have played volleyball since I was 12,” follow up with something along the lines of “Since 12? That is actually a long time. Do you compete?” You are now being responsive by listening to what she has said, instead of waiting for your turn to talk. This is much more effective because it creates a two-sided conversation, as opposed to a one-sided monolog.
Share>ask>build
A useful rule for conversation is to share something about yourself, ask something interesting, and build upon the responses. If you talk about something, ask about something, and then respond to what the other person said. If you say something similar to “I have been getting into the gym and working out recently,” ask something like “Do you work out too?”
When she responds, build upon her response instead of jumping to a completely different topic. This approach helps avoid two common problems: talking too much about yourself, and asking too many questions. The best conversations always have elements of sharing and asking. This is the best way to keep a conversation flowing and ensure that both participants have a chance to contribute.
Similarity:
People tend to be more attracted to people who are similar to them - not necessarily in the romantic sense, but in terms of having shared values, beliefs, interests, and activities.
If you share common ground, it becomes significantly easier to start a conversation and build a relationship. Music, video games, sports, food, and hobbies are all great topics to bring up.
If she mentions something that you also enjoy, you can use that as a conversation starter. If she mentions something that you are genuinely interested in but do not know much about, ask her about it. The worst idea is to pretend to have an interest in things you do not care for. If she talks about a song by Taylor Swift, and you do not like Taylor Swift, you can say something like: “I actually have not listened to her much. What is her best song?”
Fake similarity Vs true Similarity
HUMOR & PLAYFULNESS:
You do not need to try too hard to be funny. Humor in social interactions is situational, and it depends on the context. If you saw something funny, you can talk about it. If you are in a comfortable position with the girl and you are not talking about something serious, you can engage in playful teasing. However, it is also important to recognize when the other person is not comfortable with humor. Girls are very good at intuitively recognizing “forced” jokes that are made solely to get their attention. The worst way to engage in humor is to attack weak points, insecurities, or use sexual banter - the entire premise of “negging” is based on using humor to insult the girl in a way that makes her want to chase you. If the other person is not comfortable with jokes, they will tell you so.
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CALIBRATION lll
INTEREST LEVELS:
Always pay attention to reciprocity. If she seems interested, ask her more questions, talk to her more, flirt with her, initiate interactions, give more information about yourself, and be open to her suggestions. If she is not interested, do not force the conversation, ask her few questions, talk about inconsequential topics, joke around, and avoid putting too much emphasis on the interaction. You cannot force someone to like you and there is no dialogue option to “increase interest levels.” Mutual attraction is an important element of seduction. You need to recognize if the other person is uninterested, and do what is necessary to step back and move on. There is no shame in recognizing bad situations and walking away - this is the entire definition of social competence.
DO NOT CONFUSE COLDNESS WITH CONFIDENCE
There is a prevalent myth among certain pickup artist communities to conflate social competence and emotional availability. Certain social strategies suggest that one should be emotionally unavailable in order to appear more desirable since “emotionless people are impossible to understand and therefore more intriguing.” Spending long periods of time ignoring girls on Tinder, not answering questions, not complimenting anyone, being overly arrogant and dismissive - none of these behaviors contribute to increased attraction, but instead hurt it. Confidence is not equivalent to emotional unavailability. There is an entire skillset dedicated to maintaining one’s emotional stability regardless of circumstances, and it is called emotional management. You can be emotionally available and supportive without losing confidence and frame. You can compliment women, talk to them, initiate interactions, be vulnerable and sincere. But you do not need to lose your emotional stability to do any of that.
CALIBRATION IV TEXTING:
Do not base your entire communication strategy around response-time algorithms, because you do not need to. If you are busy, you do not need to respond immediately, but if you are not - there is no reason to delay the conversation. You should also avoid making everything about “wyd.” Give the other person something substantial to respond to.
Recall the conversation you had and bring something interesting up. Send her something funny that you two can discuss. Mention something interesting that you saw. Ask her about something she talked to you about. Texting becomes significantly easier when you do not have to wait for a response to the conversation-killing “wyd.”
SEXUAL CALIBRATION:
Not every conversation needs to be sexualized. If you immediately start talking about sexual topics, make sexual comments, and attempt to sexually harass, you will fail, because girls will walk away. Flirting has its place, but you can also have conversations that are not sexual or romantic. It is part of social calibration to recognize when the other person is not comfortable with an overly sexual approach
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STATUS & VALIDATION:
STATUS & VALIDATION:
Do not always talk about status and wealth because deep inside, you think people are shallow and they only care about money. Money, number of social media followers, designer clothes, gym gains, expensive watches, and social status are all interesting topics to discuss, but there is no reason to bring them up in every conversation. In fact, doing so will have a detrimental effect on your social life. Status should be showcased when it is relevant, not when you have no other topic of conversation. If you do not have much to talk about, there are many areas to explore, such as social skills, intellectual discussions, personal experiences, hobbies, and interests.
BUILD YOUR OWN VALUE:
One of the main points of the blackpill philosophy is the emphasis on genetic determinism. You cannot change your appearance, and you should not waste time obsessing over SMV (Standard of Male Value) and “game.” While genetics are important, one should not ignore other elements that contribute to an individual’s attractiveness. Physique, appearance, social skills, networking, competency, professional success, hobbies, location, confidence, experience - all of these contribute to an individual’s value. The point is to increase your own value instead of lowering expectations, which should be the primary goal of the game.
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REJECTION & REALITY CHECK
Not every girl will like you. Some of them may reject you outright. Some may have their minds made up before meeting you. Some may have completely different personalities. Some may have completely different priorities in life. Some may reject you for no reason at all. You need to understand that rejection is a natural part of life. It is not a personal characteristic that defines you, but rather a situational variable. Do not insult her because she did not like you. Do not be resentful and bitter about it. Do not use this as an excuse to convince yourself that you are bad-looking and there is no girl on Earth that would ever like you. Take this information, process it, and move on. There is always a next girl. This is the entire point of social calibration and the “frame” concept - you need to understand that you should not be emotionally shattered by one conversation, because you are always capable of improving.REJECTION & REALITY CHECK
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Physical appearance has its role, but it is only a part of the entire equation. Attractiveness is an interesting topic to discuss, but do not overestimate it. Looks are a part of the entire interaction, but they are not the sole determining factor. If you look good, but you are bad at talking to people, your overall effectiveness will be limited. If you look bad but you are good at talking to people, it will be much easier to work with your appearance.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Research:
Research:
Self-disclosure
Self-disclosure has been studied numerous times in relation to interpersonal liking and relationship initiation. According to research, self-disclosure is an essential element of conversations, and it allows both parties to determine the extent of information-sharing.
Reciprocal self-disclosure
According to studies on getting-acquainted conversations, reciprocal self-disclosure has been linked to greater liking, perceived similarity, and positive feelings during interactions.
Responsiveness
How people respond to self-disclosure plays an important role during conversations. Responsiveness predicts liking, as well as levels of perceived understanding of the other person.
halo
Physical attractiveness influences people’s perception of other traits, which explains the importance of first impressions.
Self-disclosure has been studied numerous times in relation to interpersonal liking and relationship initiation. According to research, self-disclosure is an essential element of conversations, and it allows both parties to determine the extent of information-sharing.
Reciprocal self-disclosure
According to studies on getting-acquainted conversations, reciprocal self-disclosure has been linked to greater liking, perceived similarity, and positive feelings during interactions.
Responsiveness
How people respond to self-disclosure plays an important role during conversations. Responsiveness predicts liking, as well as levels of perceived understanding of the other person.
halo
Physical attractiveness influences people’s perception of other traits, which explains the importance of first impressions.
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TAGS:
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TAGS:
@dysregulated @Razi @Hyporoxin @Hexum_ @bacland @Griffith @fent @Mr. Oxytocin @Pxverr @r.rasho @goyboy.hero @sleepy_ @the wizard @bob08674 @VelocityAnt @NA'Ropemaxxer @Skanta @susborger @Anhedonia_ @blonde manlet @ineedbones @Skull @Lyxa @Synaptogenesis @Aylan @losingthebattle @carterbateman13 @badeviluglyjeet @chakiyo @Kason.0199 @mod @Dexter @Don Frye @mog @purple @terrify @signal @nikolozzz @dookiebootybutt59 @filthylittleslut @Parsival @donal trump @Machiavellian @Synaptogenesis @Infrafailure2010
FINAL WORDS:
The blackpill makes you realistic—it makes one understand the role of attractiveness in society. However, one should not confuse realism with fatalism. Yes, looks matter, and yes, genetics are important. Bye Bhais i will be sleeping now, this took me 3-4days i think.
THANKS FOR READING.
The blackpill makes you realistic—it makes one understand the role of attractiveness in society. However, one should not confuse realism with fatalism. Yes, looks matter, and yes, genetics are important. Bye Bhais i will be sleeping now, this took me 3-4days i think.
THANKS FOR READING.
