Chakiyo
i want to be loved
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- Jul 13, 2026
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yesterday was the first day of school i went for ice cream with my friends which i didn't even wanna go to bc i wanted to go back home and go to work so i could buy arimidex and finally be loved but they convinced me so i went with them. every bus was packed but i got home around 2 maybe.
i told my mom i needed to take a nap and went to my dad's office where he has a tv and a couch. i love going there. i grabbed a pillow imagining it was some girl who loved me and kissed me on the forehead, put a blanket over myself and fell asleep in like 5 mins max while listening to minecraft music (track alpha is so fucking beautiful i could hear every note and the touch of the piano wow it was so beautiful, better than girlfriend asmr but it made me suicidal).
i woke up at 4:30 completely drenched in sweat and i was like hmm it's really bright for 4am but i'll go back to sleep ill just set up an alarm for 5:30 but then common sense stopped me bc what if it's pm and not am and yeah it was.
i asked in the class group chat if anyone besides me hasn't been at school tday and unnecessarily told them that i slept through the entire night.
i slept for like 23-26 hours jfl.
but i had such a nice dream where a girl was lying next to me and kissing me on the forehead and telling me she loved me and cuddling with me. wow very nice dream ngl.
and no i didn't take any drugs i was just tired from running on 2-4 hours of sleep daily and using caffeine to give me energy and it caught up to me.
surely bad first impression as we have 3 new teachers but yeah. arimidex order delayed by 1-3 days again kinda sad.
also hoping my mom doesn't kill me when i'm home.
ps: just realized the total macros i've consumed yesterday were around 600-700 calories and 15 g of protein so i'll probably lose even more weight. i fucking hate my life i wish i was never born or chad. i hate my stupid recessed face it's so over man. at least im 6'3 which is stopping me from commiting for now so ill surgery max once im an adult and have money and finally get what i want.
idk how to end this thread so all love to y'all bhais
pps y'all don't have to remind how pathetic i am.
also @the wizard ill read your goated thread now im sorry for not reading it earlier but didn't have time.
edit: i thought it was sep 2 because my mom called like 2 times and it showed 6 am and 1 pm it's all good omg got so scared
i told my mom i needed to take a nap and went to my dad's office where he has a tv and a couch. i love going there. i grabbed a pillow imagining it was some girl who loved me and kissed me on the forehead, put a blanket over myself and fell asleep in like 5 mins max while listening to minecraft music (track alpha is so fucking beautiful i could hear every note and the touch of the piano wow it was so beautiful, better than girlfriend asmr but it made me suicidal).
i woke up at 4:30 completely drenched in sweat and i was like hmm it's really bright for 4am but i'll go back to sleep ill just set up an alarm for 5:30 but then common sense stopped me bc what if it's pm and not am and yeah it was.
i asked in the class group chat if anyone besides me hasn't been at school tday and unnecessarily told them that i slept through the entire night.
i slept for like 23-26 hours jfl.
but i had such a nice dream where a girl was lying next to me and kissing me on the forehead and telling me she loved me and cuddling with me. wow very nice dream ngl.
and no i didn't take any drugs i was just tired from running on 2-4 hours of sleep daily and using caffeine to give me energy and it caught up to me.
surely bad first impression as we have 3 new teachers but yeah. arimidex order delayed by 1-3 days again kinda sad.
also hoping my mom doesn't kill me when i'm home.
ps: just realized the total macros i've consumed yesterday were around 600-700 calories and 15 g of protein so i'll probably lose even more weight. i fucking hate my life i wish i was never born or chad. i hate my stupid recessed face it's so over man. at least im 6'3 which is stopping me from commiting for now so ill surgery max once im an adult and have money and finally get what i want.
idk how to end this thread so all love to y'all bhais

pps y'all don't have to remind how pathetic i am.
also @the wizard ill read your goated thread now im sorry for not reading it earlier but didn't have time.
@susborger @Skull @Mr. Oxytocin @sleepy_ @Anhedonia_ @Scarface @Honorarynigga @Dysregulated @Dahker @blonde manlet @Machiavellian @the wizard @goyboy.hero @Oryza @irlesper @Hexum_ @Razi @Hyporoxin⠀ @VelocityAnt @hate.and_gasoline @Lyxa @Pxverr @Becker @bob08674 @number1fakecel @Judenbänker @Raynalbeds @fent @looksmin @Dexter @oxycontinEnjoyer @BonesRLaw @Kason.0199 @DirtbagTeenager @adsoy @NA'Ropemaxxer
edit: i thought it was sep 2 because my mom called like 2 times and it showed 6 am and 1 pm it's all good omg got so scared
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